What follows I shared on another blogsite, responding to some profound questions raised. I place this here hoping that it will help you understand some my inner thoughts. I hope that they will be helpful. If you disagree, please let me know how you feel.
"President Lee gave us a parable of a person praying to God to be healed from a wound that brought much pain. An angel came to him and said that God loves him but that he would not be healed. His pain helped him to to have compassion and to help others in pain. His calling was to not focus on the pain, but to focus on reaching out with compassion and understanding to others in pain and to bless their lives.
It doesn't seem fair that some of us were given handicapped mortal bodies that trigger same-gender attraction. But here we are. I am one whose handicap is still in the "closet". It is no one else's (except my wife's) business. I am not ashamed of it, but I know that most people would have a hard time handling it. As a bishop (once with a family ward and again with a singles ward) I have counselled with many good, faithful LDS heterosexuals handicapped with all kinds kinky attractions. I have met with many with SGA. I have at times asked myself, "What is normal??" Everyone has his or her own unique "thorn[s] in the flesh" (2 Cor. 12:7) One of mine is sexual orientation. Others carry wounds from other sources. I have sat and wept with them all. I have tried to help them to see that God loves them and accepts them where they are. It doesn't matter where they are. What matters is where they are moving.
I hope that I don't sound preachy. I think of sexual things every day. This is me. I am tempted often. I don't feel any less in the Kingdom than anyone else because of it. Others (with their handicaps) may be farther ahead of me but God compares me with no one. What matters is that I am striving to move forward.You and I are far more than same-gender orientation. Far, far more. Please don't let this one aspect block out the other rich, complex gifts you have to share with the world. Wanting to tell everyone you are "Gay, no big deal, lets move past it. Puhleez!" May be a symptom of your struggle to accept yourself unconditionally. It doesn't matter if they know, if you are at peace with who you are. Most people are not spiritually mature enough to accept that aspect of you. That's just the way it is. It is their problem not yours. God is the only other you should worry about. He knows all about you and loves you and is there, willing to help you bless others if you will let Him. Whether you come out to others or not is your choice. Weigh the consequences and then ask the Lord what you should do.
He has counseled me to be silent on this aspect of my life as long as I do't transgress His commandments. I have fully confessed my sins in the past to appropriate priesthood leaders, but subsequent priesthood leaders know nothing of my SGA. I probably would not have been called to many of the positions I have held had they known. I have been able to help many boys and men, girls and women through my callings.
It sound like you also are reaching out and blessing lives. Losing your life in His service means to stop dwelling on your wounds and to focusing on helping others to find that they are loveable by seeing that you love and accept them. It sounds like you are on that Path, pressing forward. Thank you for your candid comments. Your honesty and my opportunity to respond has given me the time for introspection and has helped me to stay on the same Path. Thank you. "