Sunday, June 20, 2010


I just came across an article with a pen name, "Dean A. Brewer", that touched my heart. He talks of the paradox between his attraction to other men and his testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I live every day with the same paradox. I cannot explain it. I cannot deny it. My same-sex attraction has given me many gifts such as sensitivity and compassion for other peoples' paradoxes. Because of this I have been able to help many people recognize their own worth. I have served many times as bishop and in young men programs and in many other Church callings. I cannot say that I am grateful for this attraction, but I am grateful for God's help in using the results of its challenges to bless others and help them towards their goals.

The other side of my personal paradox, membership in the Church, has given me many opportunities to serve others, a wonderful wife for eternity, a large family and many, many grandchildren. It has given me the right to draw on God's power to give blessings to my children and others and to witness many miracles. It has given me opportunity to experience the cleansing power of the Atonement and the peace of knowing that I am loved by my Heavenly Father.

I am not free from temptation. I am not perfect. I have an emptiness and a hunger in me for men that will never be fulfilled because of the path I have chosen. But other parts of me are filled to the brim with joy and peace that I wouldn't otherwise have.

I have shared many more details in previous blogs, but I just want to say, "Thank you Dean A. Brewer, whoever you are, for reminding me of all that I have. You may not follow my path into temple marriage. But please let God guide you on your own path, and He will if you let him. I pray for you and all others who find themselves experiencing this paradox. If ever I can be of help, please let me know."

I recommend his article to all those who desire to read it: .